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Thursday, September 8, 2011

Skirts v. Pants (Part Four I think....)

There's kind of two stories involved in this post. One involved my skirts v. pants dialogue that I seem to constantly have running through my head. The other involves some extended family, but it does all tie in together.

First off, while doing my research on skirts, and modesty and just being a lady over all, and being submissive to my husband, I have shared a lot of what I come across with family members. Some family members have been kind of dismissive about a lot of it. Some said they felt it was legalistic. I would often explain that I don't think it is a requirement, but just something interesting, that we should all take time to examine. Some told me they think it was silly to think that women should go around in Burqas all the time. Okay, so only one cousin told me that. But either way, as I have been going through my journey (no I don't believe jeans or pants are wrong and will occasionally still wear them depending on the activity) I started noticing one of my aunts was wearing a lot more skirts than I originally remember seeing her wear.

Now, this is the part where my extended family comes in, because my aunt is only about 2 years older than me, and so fashion wise its easy to compare what she wears to what is in style for most young women. Now, this may sound a bit strange, but I have noticed something of a trend in my family over the past few years. We have quite a few couples that have large age gaps. My father is one of 8. Actually, he is number 5 of 8. The ages of all my biological aunts and uncles range from the oldest aunt who is around 58 the last time I counted, down to the youngest uncle in his mid 30s. So, we have a large range of ages. Then, another trend I noticed, is that some of my family members tend to have this thing where they don't go for people that are right within their age group. Oh, there are definitely quite a few. A bunch of my cousins married people with maybe only a year difference in age. Yet, we also have some age gaps. Start wtih my grandmother and grandfather, we have a 3 year age gap. That's pretty normal. My grandmother was 16 and grandfather was 19 when they got married. Then we move to my oldest aunt, there is an 8 year age difference between her and her husband. My father married my mother, one year age difference, and then after they divorced, he married my stepmother, where these is a 4 year age gap. My aunt that's two years older than me? Well, she married into the family, and if I remember correctly there is about a 15 year age gap between her and my uncle (not the youngest one but rather number 6 of 8). I think that's why no one blinked an eye when I told them my Hubby is 8 years my senior. I think at this point we are all kind of used to the big age differences. I like to blame my preference on reading Little Women too many times and relating too well with Jo, but if I have to be honest, I secretly think it's in our genes.

So, I finally got around to sharing my thoughts with the aunt that's 2 years older than me. Partially because I LOVED some of the outfits I had seen her wear, and partially because I wanted a woman's perspective on the whole thing. Most of the opinions I had received were from males. Men and women seem to have very different opinions on things. Especially when it comes to fashion. While men tend to like when women look pretty, I find as long as the woman looks nice and presentable, the guy isn't usually one to care about things like "do the styles REALLY good together or is it just okay looking?" Sure, there are some exceptions, but the majority of guys I know have very little to say about fashion.

Well, talking to my aunt about her new fashion choices, I shared the link to my blog and my earlier skirts v. pants posts. She said she enjoyed them and wanted to know where I stood on the issue. I was kind of caught off guard. After all, I haven't really made up my mind, and recently bought some cloth workout shorts (they are not short shorts and have a good 6 inches of length) to wear mostly around the house when cleaning etc. So, I started thinking about it. Where do I honestly stand when it comes to wearing skirts or pants?

I don't know

I'm not sure if it's just a desire to hold onto my jeans (the only one pair that still fits) or if its a fashion crisis. I worry that I won't find styles that will look good with my general idea of fashion: grab a tee shirts, throw on some denim bottoms and your purse and head out the door. So it made me think: I don't mind wearing shorts around the house when I clean. If I'm going to be out doing stuff that requires a lot of movement and involves a lot of heat: I may wear my gym shorts, but chances are, I'm going to put them on under a skirt so my underwear don't show. In fact, if I had money to find skirts in my size that fit well (I look best in A-line) I would probably wear skirts a whole lot more! But as it remains, I don't have the money, and the thrift stores around here don't carry very many options. I only really have one Goodwill, and it never has that great of a selection. Especially not in my size. I wear a 14, and the Goodwill by me doesn't carry much in that size. It mostly carries size 1 and 2 unfortunately.

So, for now, as much as i PREFER skirts, I mix it up a lot. Especially since I don't feel it is necessary to wear skirts only. I just find that when I wear skirts, I am comfortable, and happy and I feel as though I look like a lady. Even if I'm wearing sandals and a plain tee. I think the point, is to dress modestly, and in a feminine manner. Throughout history, across different cultures, what has been considered feminine and masculine has been very different. In some cultures, both men and women wore pants, and the distinction was made through the manner in which they wore their tops. Women would sometimes wear longer tops that would go to their knees, and men wore tops that would go to their hips. In countries like India, the main difference in clothing was shown by the manner in which a sari was wrapped around the body, and by the colors and details. In other cultures, like Scotland, kilts (which in many ways are simply skirts) were common attire for men, and are still in fact worn by men for various reasons. If anyone has seen the movie Made of Honor Patrick Dempsey had to wear one in a Scottish wedding!

So, no. I don't believe that women should wear ONLY skirts. But I do think there is something NICE about wearing skirts, and in many ways, I PREFER wearing them. But I don't feel like it something mandatory for women to wear. In fact, I think there are activities in which it is much more practical to wear shorts or pants. In my new job, I will be working on a lot of outdoor activities with children. We do dance parties, baby sitting, and bunch of other things that can involve heavy lifting and sitting on the beach while hooking up a system for movie viewing etc. The role requires shorts be worn. Sure, I could probably as for a skirt, but I honestly believe it is not as safe to be wearing a skirt in that environment as shorts. I won't be watching kids in an indoor environment all the time. I can't even guarantee how many kids I will be working with at one time!

So basically I can sum up my feelings as follows. Skirts: AWESOME. Jeans: pretty good. Shorts:depends on length and situation.

5 comments:

Domestic Goddess said...

I would love to wear skirts. If you think finding a fashionable skirt in a size 14 is bad, try a 22 oh and be short. What's left on the rack? Um something that looks like a tent.
I think when a woman wears a skirt she tends to act more ladylike. When I take the time to do more than throw my hair in a pony tail I feel more feminine.
My Hubby is 6 yrs older than me. I like that. I think it makes it easier to be submissive? I'm not sure. But it does annoy me that he will try and end a disagreement by telling me he is older and wiser and I should just do as he says. That sometimes brings about the rebel in me and he gets peanut butter and jelly in his lunch.

Rebecca said...

Haha I know what you mean!! Unless you can find a specialty store that carries things for plus size women it's tough. I wish I were better at sewing and had the confidence to really make my own clothes. But I am too lazy for that. Unfortunately I'm also too lazy to go shopping and really find stuff that works on me :-P

I agree with it being nice having a husband a few years older. It's very nice. I'm just blessed that he does realize there are things I know more about than him and vice versa. But he does do things that drive me completely bonkers and brings out my rebel side too. :-D

Arden said...

I am a size 14 and I have found good options at both Old Navy and Cracker Barrel (of all places).

Rebecca said...

i havefound good deals at Old Navy, but on my thrift store budget it can be a bit hard sometimes. One store I have generally had good luck with, is actually CATO. Like Old Navy, I can't always afford their clothes, but if I get a little extra birthday money etc they usually have some good deals. I would NEVER have thought of cracker barrel though!

Alison Hinojosa said...

I enjoyed reading your post, and I completely related to your internal 'struggle', because I used to argue both sides in my head, ALL THE TIME. For no reason. It wasn't like someone was pressuring me to wear skirts, or anything! (and ironically, this all sparked curiosity from the Duggars too!)

I've come to the same conclusion: I would prefer to wear skirts, but if the occasion called for practicality, I would pull out my comfy jeans, with a not-too-tight top. As long as I'm modest, and most importantly, comfortable, I'm happy! Thanks for the post!

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