Movie Night With Hubby

I have been really wanting to see the last Harry Potter film. My hubby decided however that he wanted to reread all the books before we saw the movie. He is currently reading through the last one, which is driving me crazy because I want to go see the movie. Well, I'm trying to be as patient as I can, and right now, he has all but promised me we would go this coming Thursday,if all goes well. So as a "peace" offering he came home recently with the movie No Strings Attached starring Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher.

First off, I don't really like the main idea of the movie. I don't think sex just for the sake of sex is really a good thing. Mainly because I view sex as something VERY emotional and personal between the two people involved. However, we do live in a modern world and I have to accept that other people try to live this way. As the movie shows us, this really isn't possible because emotions always get involved with sex.

So that was one good thing. They show that you can't really truly ever seperate the two things. They are not mutuall exclusive and are completely wrapped up in each other. At least for most people. There are people out there who would disagree with that and tell me that they have had plenty of meaningless sex. The truth is though, it's not 100% possible. In reality, your reasons for having sex, whether it was just to satisfy an urge, or you were stressed and needed to "blow off steam" or whatever, come hand in hand with an emotion. For some, its happiness and pleasure. For others, it's all about confidence and feeling like they can do something well.. the list goes on. You may not really feel anything for the PERSON but there is always emotion involved. It's why sometimes people mistake sex and lust for love because it makes them feel good about themselves and feel pleasure for a while.

The other thing I really loved about the movie was them actually falling in love. It was slow. They would talk and laugh (even while having sex) and you would see little insights into their silly sides and their hopes and dreams. It wasn't just about the sex, it was their friendship as well. They were good friends as well as "sex friends." When they realized they loved each other, they knew it was the real person that they loved and not some lie. Dating is full of lying and being someone so the other person would like you. She wanted to just forego all that and just enjoy the physical company of the other person. Since they weren't worried about being how they looked or how much they ate in front of each other, they were actually able to get to know each other better than if they had been dating first.

I don't agree with the idea of sex with a person just to have sex, because it can never be just sex. But I do like the idea of dropping all pretenses and being who you really are. I wonder if that would actually help marriages in the long run. When we play all the dating games of dressing up and putting our best foot forward, we often create a lie of who we are based on who we want the other person to see us as. We fall in love with the lies, and then get upset when we see who the person really is! Maybe we should be more open about our bad habits, the things that make us quirky. The things that make us who we are and are bound to drive our spouse crazy! Maybe if they knew those things going in, things would be different in the marriage.

When my hubby and I dated, he always went out of his way to be active and do lots of stuff with me, which i LOVED. I love to be moving and doing things. After we moved in together, he really changed. I saw just how little he really wanted to be up and out walking or swimming or doing anythign that required a lot of physical energy. I hadn't known this about him, and it caused a lot of problems for a while. Just like he didn't know that I'm horrible about hanging up my clothes and tend to have piles of clean clothes on the floor, or that when I do hang my clothes, I get VERY ridiculous and have to hang shorts and pants a certain way or it drives me bananas and I want to scream and yell and burn everything in the closet in a big bonfire.

Okay, so the bonfire hasn't happened yet, but I do start screaming and yelling when I realize he hung up his pants in the way I don't like. It makes me feel anxious and nervous and I get antsy and the musles in my shoulders amd neck start twitching and hurting when I see it like that. It physically affects me! No, this is not normal. I know it isn't. It's one of those quirky things about me though. It's one of those things that my husband learned about me before committing to be married. It's also one of those things I secretly suspect he does just to get a rise out of me :-)

While we shouldn't be pouring our hearts out to everyone, maybe we should just be a bit more honest and not worry so much about the "lie" that seems to be a part of dating.