show me your friends

and i'll show you your future. reading the duggar book and seeing this in multiple places in BOTH of their books i started to really think about it. now, a lot of us nowadays have a bit of a strange concept of what a friend is. many will say they are friends with their coworkers, or classmates, and im not so sure that's really true. sure, we are friendly with each other, but a friend should be someone you really share your heart with. someone who probably knows you better than you know yourself. i know i definitely do not share my heart with everyone i work with, or with everyone on my facebook friends list. can i really call them friends? well maybe not. at least not in the sense that i believe the quote should be taken.

show me your friends and i'll show you your future."

someone with whom we are very close, and truly share our hearts with will shape our views and our opinions and we will also shape theirs. a perfect exam[le of this is our wardrobe. i can't even begin to count the number of times i found a cute article of clothing, but wasn't really sure about getting it. maybe i wasn't sure if it was too low cut or too tight. maybe i just wasnt sure about the style. if a friend was there, they usually either confirmed or denied my worries, which led to either purchasing the article, or walking out empty handed. this may seem small, but remember, we show who we are by our outward appearance. it may not be right to judge someone and make an opinion about them based on their outward appearance. we may see a woman walking the mall in stilletos, tight pants and a very revealing top (not really all that uncommon where the hubby and i live) and make a flash judgment. even if it's "wow, that really is VERY tight.." its an opinon and judgment on what she is wearing. maybe its not one on her personality, but it's still a judgment of HER judgment in wearing her outfit.

so if i allow my friends to convince me a shirt isnt too tight or too low cut, i'm allowing them to dictate how i present myself to the world around me. as a christian, this can be a major problem for me. especially if im allowing friends who do not have the same convictions about modesty influence me. it could be as simple as my behavior in front of a member of the opposite sex, or wearing a shirt or skirt or even shorts that are not quite as modest as what i usually wear. that one little thing can easily turn to two or three and continue on until we have left the person we used to be behind and are now much more like our friends.

it's not a bad thing to want to fit it. it's a bad thing to compromise your beliefs and who you are to fit in. it's why choosing your friends is so important. it's fine to have friends who DONT share your beliefs as long as you are VERY careful in ensuring that they do not have any influence over your personal behavior and are not trying to change your convictions. but it's also important to have friends around you that DO share those convictions and that can provide that support and accountability.

likewise, we should also think of the type of friend we are being. how we are influencing our friends, and even our acquaintances. are we being good influences on them or bad influences? do they see us not only talking the talk, but walking the walk? when my friends go shopping with me, do they see me as someone who is careful of how she dresses and handles herself.

our friends do influence us. the question is, how are we going to let them influence us, and how are we going to influence them in return?