Bad Week

been having one of those weeks where NOTHING seems to go right. And today just seemed like the icing on the cake.

finally got our bed frame we have been wanting to get for a year now. We used some of the tax return we go to actually complete out bedroom! That was a plus... Except...I ended up leaving my adorable mini binder with my coupons in the store at the register.

my brain was NOT working.

so we go and we are halfway home from Ikea (about 30 minutes) when I realized. I simultaneously realized we couldn't go back because of all the errands we had to do on hubby's one day off

it was also one of those days where slow drivers, people laughing too loudly, and smells just drove me bonkers. I was constantly snapping and totally ashamed of myself for acting that way.

I did previously mention that this has been building up all week and today has been one of those "I just wanna cry my eyes out days," right?

so then came the big one.

it was posted on Pinterest as an April fools joke. For the majority of the population, I can see why it would be funny. But for me, and a few of my friends, it's a joke that would break our hearts, and our husband's hearts

it was a joke where you buy a cheap EPT and have a pregnant friend take it. Then take it home, pretend you took it, and show it to your spouse

the lady who took it had a one year old and her husbands reaction was hilarious. A commenter wrote about doing it to her hubs when their child was 5 months old.

I get. I do. I really get it.

but my heart broke

why?

I may never see that positive line show up on a test. Hubs may never get the joy of that moment when he realizes that he is going to be a dad when I show it to him

sure, we could adopt and raise a family that way. And we desperately want to once we are in a slightly better financial situation. And while welcoming a child into our home in any capacity would be a great joy for us, that positive pregnancy test could be one of those things we would miss, if my fears are confirmed.

yes, the joke could be funny. But it can be hurtful too

so I'm asking the few people that read this, think before you speak, or pin, or post. You may not realize how much something could be killing someone else inside, though they'd never be able to tell you.