I have been wanting to lose weight for a while. Like, 5 months after my wedding a while. I wanted to lose weight before my wedding as well, but that is a bit of a different story. 5 months after my wedding I felt like I had ballooned. I gained over 20 pounds. I was really hard on myself and hid behind my clothes. A LOT. It wasn't that bad and I knew I still had a pretty good figure, and most people had no idea how much i ACTUALLY weighed. Most people were shocked when I told them I was near 180 (mind you, I'm only 5'4" so that's drastically into the overweight category), so I was actually not too bad. The hard part was clothes. Nothing fit right. I couldn't seem to find clothes that fit me well and I struggled with that. A LOT.
Then we moved to Michigan and I lost a little weight. No. That's not right. I didn't really lose much weight. I lost some size. I was really happy. I had been close to getting into a size 16 (again, remember my shortness), and finally my 14 pants were starting to feel a bit looser. Then, I was able to fit into some 12s. They were REALLY tight, but they zipped and buttoned so I was happy.
But I still wasn't really losing weight. I was still kinda big. Then, I got my confirmation on a PCOS diagnosis, and was started on some medicine to regulate my insulin/sugar levels. I have lost almost 10 pounds since then!
I'm starting to feel better but realize I still have a long way to go until I get back into a healthy weight/BMI range. But I lack motivation. I look at outfits and think "oh how cute! If only I could fit into that!!!" So I daydream about losing the weight, and... That is about where it ends. Daydreaming.
Last Sunday, during a series our church was doing titled "Finding God in Unlikely Places" The second in a three part series, this one focused on "finding God in a marathon," seemed to have a big effect on the hubs. We left church that day with him determined to have us run the marathon.
I've always wanted to run a marathon. Seriously. I have. I just never actually expected to be signed up and doing it. Especially at the request of my wonderful, loving hubs, who has never really shown any interest in anything more athletic than watching a game on tv.
I'm thrilled that he wants to do this, and wants to do this with me. I'm just scared I will lack the motivation to get the training in so that I'll be able to finish. I'm scared that I'll look at this as a way to lose weight, and then won't lose weight or size. I'm scared I'll look like an idiot trying to run and get so embarrassed I'll quit very early on.
The running doesn't scare me. I've actually always enjoyed the feeling of running. I just lacked the discipline...
Looks like God is going to be using this year to teach me about more than taking leaps of faith (like quitting my job with no back up only to find that hubs prefers it and realizing it means completely trusting God with our finances). Discipline.
On another note, our Dave Ramsey "money makeover" is working out pretty well so far. We managed to save up the baby step 1 emergency fund a lot faster than either of us thought we would, and we had enough left over to start working on getting things we need for the marathon. After all those expenses are done (and we are only doing them because of God pulling on hubby's heart to run the marathon- even if he doesn't want to admit it, it was a God thing) we start baby step 2. paying down all our debts. which include a car payment and student loans!
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