My mother and I were walking down a street in New Jersey. We had parked and were heading to the salon that my aunt wanted us to get our hair done at for her wedding. I was about 20 at the time, and lived in my jeans. That particular day, I had on jeans, heels that are no more than two inches (! still have them and wear them 2.5 years later) and a button down sleeveless shirt. Considering the times, it's rather modest. No cleavage was really showing, and my jeans were not skin tight. I never wear skinny jeans, only bootcut or flare. So I was walking down the street, and this guy makes a perverted gesture towards me. Now, growing up, in Florida, spaghetti straps are common attire to wear with shorts or jeans. Mainly because of the heat. No one really thinks anything of it and most people would not tell a girl her outfit was immodest. Even taking that into consideration, I had dealt with cat calls and whistles from grown men from the time I was about 13 and my mom would let me and my friend walk down the street to the mall. I would be in jeans and a tank and get a cat call. At 13. I'm not really proud of this or anything, because frankly, I would never want to be with the type of guy who would whistle at any passing girls. Often I'd yell back at them my age and show my disgust. Other times I would just ignore them. I had been pretty used to having guys check me out.
Yet, I had never seen a guy make this particular gesture towards me. I was disgusted. I screamed out my disgust (and later got a lecture from my mother on how to behave properly when getting unwanted advances from a man twice my age) and the incident was over.
Recently, one of the things I have noticed missing from my life has been these rude gestures. Do I miss them? No. Not one bit. I actually welcome the change. I found two things to do this for me. One, I stopped caring as much about my appearance. I would just throw my hair in a bun, toss on a pair of jeans and just about any old shirt I could find that looked like it went well with what I had. I stopped really accessorizing and doing other things that promoted guys to look at me. Sure, I would sometimes throw on a mini skirt, or a low cut top with a push up bra. But I didn't do it often, and often felt uncomfortable when I did that.
Then, I saw the Duggars on their tv show, and I realized how I could remain covered and still look pretty!
Even more recently, I have realized that when I dress in my longer, non- form fitting skirts, with even a regular tee, I don't get the vulgar attention from men that I don't want!
Now, I know some women that actually enjoy the attention they get. That's fine for them if that is how they want to get attention. Me? I'm happy that I don't have to deal with cat calls, whistles, and vulgar gestures :-)
Except for when they're from my husband ;-)