Tuesday, June 14, 2011

lots on my mind


i have been going through a lot of trials lately. between my husband's health concerns and having signed a contract for a house to be built (through a builder so we unfortunately dont get to pick out what we need and how we want the house set up) right before he got sick, in addition to justgenerally being overwhelmed by the growing pile of laundry, and mess that is apparently our apartment, i have been feeling highly inadequate as a wife and homemaker. somedays i sit and go "if i just didn't work..." and then i remember that there are a few bills that we do rely on my paycheck to pay, and i feel lost and alone. i cry out to God in these times for support, for inspiration, for just a small amount of motivation to enter my body so that i might get SOMETHING done...

God answers our prayers in mysterious ways sometimes, and i love how easy it is for Him to come in and say "so.. about those areas in which you feel inadequate..." lately, it has been through the blogs i read. i get encouragement from seeing the other women that struggle, but persevere. it reminds me that i too can get through anything with God by my side. so i keep that in mind and work harder to ensure that i am in constant communication with God. always praying as i go through my day, evne about the little things like "what should i say to this person?"

today, another little piece of inspiration found it's way to my front door. and quite literally too!! the new duggar book arrived on my front doorstep!! as much as i wish i could say i bought a copy, i don;t have the money to do that. we are VERY frugal. it's the only reason we are even able to think about purchasing the house (not to mention 100% financing that im desperate to pay off as soon as we are able). so i requested it from the library, and had to wait until they received their copies. luckily i was number 4 on the wait list for the book, so once they received their copies, one when straight out to me!

i started reading it as soon as i could, and have found so much inspiration in their book. i don't know how they are able to go through everything they have gone through, and always with smiles. reading about josie's birth, and remembering having watched the special, it amazes me that even in the midst of such a crisis. even in the midst of being so panicked, michelle always seemed more at peace than i'm sure i would have been, as she relied on God and her faith in Him.

just reading about all the things their family does to make sure the Word of God is in their house, their nightly Bible Time, writing scripture around doorframes in pretty lettering etc. reading their book inspired me and gave me a chance to remember something important. something i read in another book

cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee. (Psalm 55:22 KJV)

this is the verse that im going to focus on this summer. with everything going on right now, it's exactly what i need. the library sending me the right books ( The Journey by Wanda E Brunstetter and A Love That Multiplies by Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar) was truly a God thing.

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